The Misinterpretation of Dreams

I’ve begun to wonder about the signals that I am sending out, to the opposite sex in particular. It seems that I always seem to attract the guy who has a girlfriend, but wouldn’t mind a good screw! Now I do understand that that type of guy probably goes around sniffing at anything with a hole, but this is just happening to me a little too often! So maybe the problem is with me.

Now I don’t consider myself to be promiscuous and I don’t think that I dress provocatively. I don’t think that I’m sending out signals saying that I’m easy. But maybe I’m sending out signals saying that I’m desperate? Or am I signaling that I don’t need a man for anything other than physical satisfaction, because the rest I can do for myself?!
I’m not sure what it is, but this booty call thing is becoming a little bit more than a coincidence, it’s threatening to turn into a pattern. And no, I have not yet become a booty call girl (one who takes her booty over to the man’s place when he calls, when his girlfriend is out of town) but I can’t help wondering if there’s something I’m doing that I can change, in order to deter this kind of man! Is there a specifically coloured ribbon to wear on my lapel which can do the trick? Or maybe I should have a t-shirt printed: I AIN’T NO BOOTY CALL GIRL!

Now, first I must excuse myself for not blogging for a while! I was having some trouble loading the page! Not sure if it’s because of my bush internet connection or a web page error.

Nevertheless, I have been contemplating friendship with the opposite sex lately. Is this really possible? Now this obviously doesn’t apply when referring to gay friends, because I am not in the least bit attracted to any of my gay guy friends and I am sure there are plenty of women who have very good friendships with gay guys. (Is the opposite true? Can guys have really good friendships with gay women? Or do they just fantasize about a threesome?)
I’m also not talking about your best friend’s partner, because most sane people are not attracted to their best friend’s partner. I can admit to at times being somewhat envious of my best friend’s partner/relationship, but that is outweighed by the admiration that I have for them and I am never in the least bit attracted to her partner. I see him more or less as an extension of her. It seems that most guys usually feel somewhat protective of their good friends’ partners especially in the friend’s absence.

But what about a guy you meet who is not connected to you, or only remotely connected, and you find that you get on quite well, conversation is easy and he’s not bad on the eye? Is it possible to then have a completely platonic relationship with this person even though you spend a significant amount of time together? And let’s say you’re both unattached.

Personally, I know that I do have platonic guy friends. I actually lived with a great guy for a few years and there was absolutely no attraction between us, and he could even cook! We’re still friends now, but for most of the time that we lived together either one of us was usually in a relationship. What if that had not been the case? Would we have been able to remain just friends despite spending so much time together and getting to know each other so intimately that we could speak to each other while one lay in the bath and the other sat on the bathroom floor?
And no, I’m not regretting not having more than a friendship with him, because friendship is one of the most valuable things you could ever find. I’m just wondering: Are heterosexuals really capable of having completely platonic girl/guy friendships? Without even the tiniest hint of sparks between them?

There are so many different kinds of love and obviously the English language does not do it justice with just the word love to describe all those different kinds of love. But here, I’m talking about that non-platonic kind of love, romantic love. Most of us want to find one special person to share it with.

I think there are different kinds of romantic love too and everyone experiences romantic love differently and everyone has a different idea of what romantic love should be.
The love I had/have for my ex boyfriend was/is the head over heels kind. Where everything is just this mad tumbling rolling out of control rush of emotions. I used to think that I just loved him so much that there was nothing I was unwilling to do for him. And yes, I saw some of his faults and there were things that I didn’t like, but I thought that “love is stronger than that” and”love is all you need” and a mountain of other myths that fairytales lead us to believe. But as it turned out, despite all the love we had/have for each other, it just couldn’t fill all the gaps and smooth over all the imperfections. It just was not strong enough glue to hold us together.

So what kind of love is the right kind? Is it intellectual love? A relationship where you can say: I am with so and so because of 1,2 and 3. We are good for each other because we complement each other in such and such a way. ??
Is love at first sight the right kind of love? Where you lay eyes on a person for the first time and think you know beyond a shadow of doubt that you’re meant to spend the rest of your lives together? (As I’m sure is obvious from the wording, I don’t have much faith in this kind of love. I think it’s based on physical attraction, which can fade.)

What kind of love is going to stand the test of time and endure through all kinds of hardships? In fact, are there actually any guarantees in love?

After watching Special Assignment the other night, the show was about young girls and their sugar daddies, I’ve been wondering about the unwritten Laws of Attraction. What are we allowed and not allowed to find attractive in a potential mate?

In the past, most marriages were arranged with money and status in mind. In fact, even today in cultures where marriages are still arranged, these are two very important factors. But, in modern society, the term “gold digger” is not exactly complementary. Yet many men flaunt what they have in an attempt to attract a mate. So, is a woman not allowed to be attracted to a man because she perceives that he will be able to provide for her material needs?

Then there is physical attraction. In this regard much more pressure seems to be placed on women, to be physically appealing in order to attract a mate. But most women don’t want to be seen just as sexual objects. So if a woman dresses alluringly, can she be disappointed if a man can’t see past her physical beauty?

I’m not sure what’s right and wrong, I think: To each man his own. I do believe that you will get exactly what you’re looking for. If the most important quality you’re looking for in a mate is physical beauty or material riches, you’re probably going to find that, but you’re not guaranteed anything else. You might end up with the richest guy you’ve ever met, but you’re not guaranteed that he will be good to you.

I thought I knew what I wanted, but now I think I know better what I don’t want.
First and foremost I don’t want a stupid man. What the hell is there to talk about with a stupid man?
I don’t need a man to support me, but I also don’t want to have to support a man all my life! Maybe I’m just not a modern enough woman.
And last but not least, I don’t want to have to change a man! If I don’t like him the way I find him, then he’s not for me. No smoothing the rough edges for me, thank you very much!
Am I asking for too much?

I realise that during my past relationship I became a bad person, I behaved in ways I never thought I would. Did things I didn’t believe I was capable of. My ex boyfriend told me that I didn’t remain the person he fell in love with, and quite honestly the opposite is true too. By the end of the relationship he was not the same guy I fell in love with in the beginning. Now, I can’t help wondering why that is.
Is it an inevitable change that comes about, and that would come about, whether we were together or not? Is it because we were bad for each other? Or is it that I really was a bad person all along and just hid it really well, until I got comfortable, and then I let it all hang loose? It could be that we’re all capable of doing bad things, and being good is a choice we have to make all the time. Maybe I just got too distracted and caught up in the whole spin of things and forgot to make the right choices everyday. And the little choices that we make everyday are the ones that count the most.